Country: Sweden (SWE)
Language: English, Swedish
Location: Umeå, Sweden
Who am I?
I’m am an 21 year old student at University of Umeå majoring in Human Behaviour Analysis towards IT-environments with a graduation in natural sciences from high school. I will be studying the matter even deeper next year when I am doing pedagogy, behaviour around Electronic and it gadgets combined with psychologies and social medias. I speak Swedish and English fluently and I’m a person who enjoys more alternative aesthetics, nature and travel. And about my own personal story I don’t quite know what to say but I’ll give it a go. I have always been a person who could make new friends easily,
and I’ve got a wonderful caring family because we support each other. With a love in philosophy, aesthetic practices (such as music, poetry, art and photography), aced every music class I’ve taken, planning on engage more in aestethics when school allows me too and then go abroad for studies in behavioural sciences and advanced English.
But having all that in mind, there have been some difficulties in my life as well, Around 2009-2010 I found myself falling down in a depression which lead myself deeper and deeper into myself that resulted in that I decided to cut the wire from the outside world (something that I honestly regret at this point that I did but that happened).
I didn’t want help from anyone, I hid it behind the well known mask and yet…
A close friend of mine saw that something was wrong before I even noticed that myself.
The entire “session”, if you can call it that, lasted for about or a little longer than a year, but not for more than a year and a half though.
I started to eat less, and I didn’t gained any weight at all, which resulted with me being taller but thinner, something that I don’t mind because I’ve had the same figure since, but it sure wasn’t healthy back then.
When I finally recovered from it, I’ve also brought something with me;
The constant thoughts/demons in the back of my head that makes me insecure about myself, what I do and what I want to do. Since then, I’ve quite regularly had low thoughts and expectations about myself, causing my self esteem to decrease as well. So yeah, I’ve had low thoughts about myself for quite a long time, something that people who knows me might have noticed. Having low thoughts about yourself is tough, sometimes harder getting mocked by others, so you’ve go to try to control those feelings, which is what I have done for the last couple of years, with more or less good results.
Since 2012, I decided to try helping others that haven’t found their way out of it yet, I haven’t found my way out of the low thoughts completely yet but I’m not even close to how I used to be. During the following couple of years, my life has been at a turning point, from being unstable and insecure to almost break down again to be the person who I am today.
In 2014 my life took a drastic change, went through a heartbreak, travelled abroad, started at university and got cut off from a lot of my friends again due to them moving and that I moved. So since then I’ve been exploring who I am, with more or less success. Everything from Anxiety attacks to finding one of my philosophies in life; “I am who I am, take it or leave it”
In 2015 I have new friends, I see new possibilities, hope and I have the will to make a difference. Love and heartbreaks have also been a factor that have made me into who I am today. I have the people around me to thank for that. For the past year Trust, love and loyalty, things I’ve found from very unexpected places, united in everyday life, school, music and art. But some people I’ve also lost, because I was unable to cope with myself… and then I have a really hard time being around people, resulting in me either leaving or being left by people who I still love, but I want to give them my greatest apologies for those acts.
Today in 2016 I am on my way back again from major downturn, I am motivated to get things on my way and I have plans for this year. I’ve got hired for a work this summer, the friends I do have are closer than ever and I am motivated to start blogging and be creative online and in my own home in whatever way I see fit. Please stay tuned for updates from my life or discuss topics or just message me to start a conversation, I’d really appreciate it.
Stay tuned for updates.
This is me, feel free to ask and enjoy my new blog here on wordpress.