April 18th – Part 2

Since last time the stomach pains have returned big time and I litterally felt like throwing up on the bus, at the grocery store and not to mention on the way home because of the pain, but that’s a different story. I’ve also got my time for a workspace interview that I’ll attend to by phone because I live where I do and it will be tricky for me to get there. More updates about how that one went on wednesday.

But now I honestly feel like shit and just like want to scream and just walk out in the night again… I just don’t know what I can do to make this better. I am incapable of making this better with my current means, and that kills me… I just want to do things right… be alright and become freed from this anxiety and demons I’ve been struggling with for years now… but once again I assume that’s just wishful thinking of a brokes pisces…

Jag behöver… hjälp…
Och tips och vägledning till hjälp…

EDIT ~ April 19th
After this post I headed directly to bed and the tears just started to come, so tired. I sent away a few messages and had someone to talk to until I fell asleep, tired and all empty. I woke up the following morning rested and in time for today’s meetings feeling much better again.

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