What’s happening?

Over the past few days I’ve been experience a rather radical change when it comes to how I feel and my mental state. I feel calm at work and calm when I have the motivation or have the time to blog, but I have noticed that I’ve snapped a bit more at people lately, what normally tends to be considered as teasing just turns out as annoying at the very least. It’s like something happened to me that made my patience decrease drastically, and it seems to be long lasting. Just within the past 24 hours I have been close to snap at and have a go at several people and to be honest, that scares me.

I don’t know what is going on with me but whatever it is, but I’ve got the feeling that it’s not going to be healthy in the long run. I do believe that it might have something to do with my returning wave of anxiety, that I am more sensitive when it comes to unpleasant statements, jokes or even accusations that’s been made up by teasing purposes.

But what can I do to stop it? Currently I’m just trying to take deep breaths, count from 1-10 or in some cases I just zone out (which is not good at all in the long run). But what can I do to deal with this then? I’ve already been forced to take several pauses while writing this relatively short post about three times due to shaking hands, dizzy head and uneasy body language. I’ve been eating and drinking much better lately, been able to get well rested and I am hanging around with more people that usual so I don’t know what would be the cause of this. And when I go to sleep I am literally just exhausted and can’t read, sleep or stay awake. If these are the signs of anxiety slowly building up by unknown reasons, then it’s just a matter of time before the next triggering event causes another outburst. What can I do to at least last the summer until the semester starts? The very last thing I need is to have it at work or at the dinner table causing turbulence within the family…


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