Okay, so it’s been a few days since I wrote on here the last time, I’ve wanted to but I just lacked the energy to do it. And even if my sleeping pattern has improved a little a bit, it’s still really hard to sleep and get rested. This, in combination with headaches and increased temperatures, and I can just zone out every now and then to be a aware of what’s going on around me. But more details about that later.
Since last time I have started my work within the area of tourism as the weekend supervisor and make sure that people find what they’re looking for, a job which I feel rather comfortable with. The days passes by in a pretty calm phase and I have time to think and organise myself, but I won’t blog during work on here because that resulted in a serie of events that resulted in me closing down my old blog and start up here on WordPress. I have also been dining with my land lady and it was actually quite nice. It feels like I got closer to her (and my family for that matter) and when we eventually got into certain areas I had monologues about what I did and why I did it, statements on which I only received positive feedback and compliments on that I did the right thing.
But there is one thing that concerns me, and that is that I noticed a few days ago that I started to just let everything go and not be bothered. I don’t know if it is some kind of defence mechanism but I don’t really recognise myself when some situations occur. The very last example I can give you is from yesterday morning, I woke up and saw one of those basement spiders just sit on the wall and stared at me directly next to the bed, something that I just frowned at and went to sleep again. A normal reaction some would say, but not to someone with arachnophobia. I fell behind with my blogging, which is why this post is more of a recap instead of what I normally post. But I’ve also managed to find something good as an outcome of all this; I might feel light headed but if anything I don’t feel as worn out any longer, which is nice. I have also said to myself that when the semester starts again, I will look for someone to talk to, or use the phone number my friend gave me to get in touch with someone about this. I know it wasn’t an anxiety attack or anything but I do believe it is connected to it, something that I need help to understand. I think I know where to start but I’ll start at the university and then I’ll go from there. Any suggestions of other ways that might work or things I should think about while contacting the person, please let me know.
I am on bus now from the city before my weekend shift starts at work, but now with more people around so hopefully I’ll just move around for the rest of the summer and do the very best of the situation at hand. Peace out and I’m sorry I’ve been so inactive.
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