Considering that I had no energy once I got home last night to write about this, I’m am now writing about this the morning after.
Okay, so something rather different happened yesterday, not only because of what I was told/informed about my family and boss at work when I woke up, but specifically last night. After a nice evening of boardgames such as Munchkin and Black Out, a friend of mine asked if the third person in the room could read tarot cards, which she said she could. One thing lead to another, the boardgames were stuffed away and the tarot deck soon came to occupy the table.
The friend of mine had some questions about the near future, understandable if you ask me, considering the fact that she’ll most likely move to the other side of the country for educational purposes. How’s life about to turn out? Will she meet someone and what will happen to the ones she leave behind? Perfectly normal questions that can storm around in your head before you move far away for years. The questions were asked and the answers were delivered, and to be fair, a lot of things made sense to me and I could recognise myself in a lot of the things she was told from my first year at University. All three of us just sat there and talked about what the cards were revealing and we had no time restrictions that night so we had time to discuss the messages the cards were giving us.
Everything passed on rather nice and then she asked me if I wanted to be in a session as well, and I had no reasons to say no and I was curious so I accepted the offer of my first tarot reading session. The three main topics that first got covered was love, money and near future (considering I’m an university student, this would most likely be it). All of the areas made perfect sense to me, even the more specific details I got told that would just be pure guesses for someone who doesn’t know me. Even tho that the card reader and myself consider us as more recent friends, we do life far away from each other and haven’t known each other long enough for her nail all those specific details. Details about persons of interest, details about economy and details about upcoming study situations and around the clock studies/work – which will most likely be the case considering what I’ll be studying this fall. Once we have all discussed what it meant and what it could be (which was mainly me confirming what she just told me in detail) she then held up a number of more cards in her hand and asked me if I wanted to find things out about my personal health. To be asked that question now and earlier have had discussions and predictions on a more detailed level, I just thought in for a penny in for a penny in for a pund, considering that I haven’t got that much to hide as I stand for who I am. Then the number of five – six cards she was holding were finally revealed.
Now this is when my mind becomes fuzzy, for reasons you’ll understand in a bit. With that said, I don’t quite remember exactly what I got told but I do remember her general reaction about the cards; she said that she had only got more negative cards once before. To make the long story short, here’s a brief summary of what, if I remember correctly that is, the cards implied;
Deep personal issues and that I’m literally on my knees struggling with it (metaphorically), I feel better when I’m travelling away but they (call them back-head-thoughts or demons if you like) always come back to me eventually. I go told that I have to get things under control and that I need to preferably go and see someone because if I decide to deal with this on my own, it might just as well result in me spiraling further and furher down. But if I go and see someone and actually take the step to do it and manage to go through with it, I will succeed and become much better.
For those of you who have been following me for a while might know exactly what I’m talking about. Here’s the catch however; I was advised not to do medication or pills, that’s because it seems like it isn’t caused by a chemical disturbance that. Instead of that, it’s personal deeply rooted in personal issues, traumas and/or experiences from far back in time. Even if I did go and see someone – which I’ve been advised to do multiple times in the past – it would be a long, hard and wining road before I eventually manage to get better. “But”, I said, “I’ve been told to do this but I haven’t been able to put myself it. I mean, I’ve always prefer to deal with this on my own before to not bother anyone.” Her reaction to this was to pick up a second deck and spread it out faced down on the table and told me to pick a card. The card I selected was The Stars, implying that I will take things under control and deal with whatever it is causing my downsides and more frequent anxiety attacks.
This was my first tarot card reading session and it was most definitely a different experience, with so many specific details and cards that didn’t even appear for the friend of mine just minutes earlier. I got the names of several good people and institutions to contact and talk to back home and phone number to someone one of them had been in touch with not too long ago. I was literally overwhelmed with all the support and I did once again realize that I have friends here, I think I even have to consider the tarot reader a close friend as well despite the short period of time we’ve known each other (because of my habits to slowly taking people in but she just walked right in (obviously)), she’s just a wonderful individual – one of a kind. Before we left to go home, she lent me one of her decks. Thank you Ms, you know where I live and whenever you have business south around my area, let me know and I’ll return it to you next time we meet up, if you would like that that is.
Two rater unplanned posts, a pile of them in draft mode. I’ll most likely try to do something about that on the train home this afternoon.
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