Update – June

Here and back again, kinda…
I haven’t been that active for a while and I’ve managed to solve some things and I do feel better.
However, I’ve recieved my certificate for contacts with internatioanl students which will help me in the future with my studies aborad in a years time or two. Anyone got some interesting suggestions of where to go?

Next, since last time, the 8th of june has passed, something that gave me an insecure breakdown out of no where with roots of a happening in the past… I was driving at about 1am at the time and I just realized what day it was and I just broke down, tears just started to stream down my face and I was once again just tempted to drive off the road again. However, I had people to send a quick message to so I managed to pull myself off onto a parking space right next to the road and had the breakdown there and I had to call someone but I didn’t want to bother anyone. When I got back to the appartment for the night people basically mailbombed me about what happened because I managed to send away a quick message. A big thank you to all of you for showed concern. The reason why I just decided to post this because this post would be more of a red thread for you guys reading this. I was all okay after that mailbombing and group call, a quick chat with my parents and some air and late walks. And the previous post was also written under the influence of racing emotions, but it was all the truth and I stand for what I said…

The morning after I just planned to go to Uni, get my certificate, drive home and get wasted to distract myself. But after all the streams of tears, shown support from the people who messaged me and with the mentioned certificate in my hand, I felt well rested and could smile as well, even tho I had this uneasy feeling throughout the day. Now I’ve also got my work for the summer sorted out, the relation with new contacts have gotten stronger and I’ve recently picked up a more frequent communication with my siblings.

Oh well, I am just staying at the family’s house and looking after the cat and the garden for three weeks in total and it’s now one week left. My family went to Spain again, which I am not jealous at all about. It’s really hot and I have no reason to go there at all, besides, if there were any sircumstances that required me to contact someone I would either get contacted or contact that person using the internet. I do belong in the cooler countries or in northern Europe or the northern states. The average day so far this summer has been around 14 degrees Celcius, temperatures that actually allows you to do things outside.

Until next time I’ll make a post (which will happen in about a week from now) I’ll try to relax with the last several days alone. The next post will be written on the train up north on the night of the 24-25th of june. The light nights have made me mess up my sleeping patterns and I’ll most likely just have a nap on the train. More information about that will be posted in about a week.

Stay tuned for more.
Blessed be!

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