Give me a reason

I don’t know what to say, I’m just thinking back of the past year and I just don’t know why I should be up today at all. Wherever I go there is loving stuff, it is 2,32 am at this very moment and already there is romance movies on the television. There are commercials doing adverts of ballgags and I just don’t know what to do. I live alone and all I have been able to do is to stay calm and sane, but now, not even my studies and the buddy programme can’t help and distract me. Since last year, I have exposed myself so much but I don’t even know for what use. I’ve been contacted by people but I don’t even want to know what I want anymore. All I want is to be able to live a life and be able to talk to someone on a daily basis, I am sorry but that is who I am. I don’t know who it is, I don’t care if that person have hurt me in the past, I need someone to talk to. I am starting to go insane right now. A few weeks ago, I was contacted by someone and I took the risk to start up a contact again. I am not going to lie, those feelings I had back then are still there, I just don’t know what the fuck to do with them or how to deal with it.

Give… Me… A… Reason…
-to stay positive
-to keep fighting
-to stop crying
-to give myself to someone

‘Cause right now, I’m done.
You heard me, I’m frikkin’ DONE!
It’s 2.42, I’m going out, outside for a long walk, out in the night…

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